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In this page we will discuss the order God has set up for women to follow.  One of the greatest temptations a woman faces is to usurp her husband's place of authority.  When we succumb to this temptation we open doors to the adversary and he comes in and out at will to do us and our families grave damage.  Let us explore this area so that we can shut the door once and for all. It's an exciting thing to be in the center of God's will, but it requires diligence and a willingness to keep your flesh in check.  

Eph 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING. 
NIV

Eph 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in EVERYTHING.
NKJV

Here we see that the husband/wife relationship is likened to our L-rd and his relationship to the "called out believers".  Just as the believers will only be successful if they submit to the authority of Yeshua, the wife will only be successful if submitted to her husband.  Submission doesn't have to be the end of life for the woman.  Yeshua gave himself up for the body of believers.  If we keep the picture of the "church" as our example and "Yeshua" as the example of the husband we can gain great understanding.  We are surrounded by women who are seeking "equality" when what they end up with is rebellion to the order of God.  When I hear women teach their daughters that "you can be anything you want to be"; I want to cry.  God has created women to fill a role; a precious role.  If we walk in rebellion to His plan, we are doomed.  We see a rise in lesbianism, in failed marriages, in suicide amongst women and women in jail.  Teen pregnancy is still epidemic, and abortions are common practice; even among "Christian" women.  Is this because women are more submitted to the men in their lives?  I believe it's because women are less submitted.  

WHAT IS SUBMISSION?

With the education of our world in regards to many oppressive religions, women get nervous when they hear teaching about submission.  It doesn't sound nearly so scary when we consider submitting to Yeshua.  We don't see him leading us into oppressive lives full of sadness and limitations, but when we consider having to submit to a man things are different.  One of the greatest lessons I learned was to believe God's word in this area.  When I submitted to my husband's authority he keeps me covered and the adversary couldn't find a place to catch me unaware.  

John 10:1
10:1 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.
NKJV

The adversary came to Eve in the garden to kill, steal and destroy.  He didn't come to the head, but he came up another way.  His subtlety caused Eve to usurp her husband's authority and to be tricked into eating of the forbidden fruit and later she fed it to her husband.  She submitted to the adversary rather than to her own husband.  DANGER, DANGER.  The adversary is still using this trick on women today. A third of all the angels follow the enemy. He has authority over them. They are doing his work and work to come to the woman in order to continue the deception that Eve walked in.

When the adversary comes to me to get me to do something out of order I have some steps I take to deal with him.

1. Submit to God by submitting to my husband.

2. Resist the adversary (by saying "I resist you and your thoughts in the name of Y'shua/Jesus".)

3. Tell my husband the adversary was tempting me in a given area.

4. The adversary has to flee.

Recognizing the adversary isn't always easy unless you spend time in the word.  You don't always know he's coming in the back door unless you know the word in a given arena.  Let's look at an example of this to make your understanding easier.

My husband told me "don't worry about the bills, I'll take care of them".    I hear this thought come to my head "He never remembers to pay the bills on time".   Instead of just listening to my husband's  words I listen to the adversary and start worry by rearranging the bills, by looking at the dates they are due, by looking at the checkbook, and finally by bugging him to pay them.  This is a normal scenario that the adversary will use. What could I have done instead?

My husband tells me "Don't worry about the bills, I'll take care of them".  Again the adversary comes with thoughts of rebellion.  Instead of listening blindly to his suggestions I say "I resist you satan, I refuse to open the backdoor to you.  In the name of Yeshua leave me now".  He may try a couple more times, but my reaction is the same.  I resist his onslaught and then I go to the Father and let Him know what's going on.  I then go to my husband and tell him that the adversary is tempting me to worry and let him know that I trust him to take care of it all.  That's where I take my stand and eventually the enemy flees.  This has never failed to work and whatever my husband promises gets done.  

This is only one example.  The more time you put this in practice, the more time you spend in the word, the easier it becomes to recognize the "backdoor approach" of the adversary.  

Submission lifts you into a higher realm than the natural realm.  It will get you out of trouble every time. Yeshua submitted to God and although he died the death of all deaths, he was exalted and given a name above every name.  The power of submission is so awesome!  

Another realm that order effects the family is when we get our order of priorities out of sync.  Here is God's order of things.  If you get out of it, you will get in trouble. Some women will argue with this order, but if you're married you should take care of your husband and put him first.  Many women spend so much time trying to serve God first that their husbands are left out in the cold.  Women so crave to have "their own ministries" not realizing that God has given them a ministry in caring for their husbands and children. 

1 Cor 7:34-35
But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 
NIV

1 Cor 7:34-35
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
NKJV

1. Husband

2. Children
   

If you look closely there may seem to be missing something in this very short list, but there isn't.  I will add more as I am lead because until we get this order in line we can't successfully minister anywhere else.   A woman who doesn't put her husband first acts like an unmarried woman and brings shame to herself and to her husband.  If our husbands aren't cared for, we aren't serving God.  To do a job that wasn't designed for us is to ask for failure and disappointment.  There is nothing as unattractive as a woman who leads her husband around by his nose.  There is also nothing as unattractive as a woman who claims God has called her to minister, but her husband is neglected and her children act like orphans.  Go into a godly woman's home and her house is clean, meals are prepared, laundry is done, children are well mannered, and God is well pleased.  Go into a home where the woman is out of order and her husband is usually somewhere else, who knows where her children are, if the house is clean someone else has done most of the work, and strife is everywhere.

Tell tale signs that the adversary is using you as a back door.

For women with believing husbands: Going out beyond the home.  We read about the women of God who do alms deeds.  We also read about women who sell girdles to the merchants and bring food from long distances.  They manage vineyards and gardens and can handle big loads.  The average young bride shouldn't be asked to do such things.  She should be focusing on her husband and her children.  A brand new bride should keep all her focus on her husband for the first 12 months.  

Working outside the home is really a temptation, but one that I personally believe should be resisted.  I also believe that people who say that running a home on one income can't be done are people who love material possessions too much.  The sacrifices made in early married life will afford happily married couples the ability to do many wonderful things because they have put their trust in God and not in their own ability to work.  

The world has many ways to tempt the believer, they "evangelize" through mass media and are very effective.  If I am having trouble wanting too much "stuff", it's usually because I'm watching too much TV, reading too many magazines, or spending too much time in the market place.  Covetous behaviors are developed by exposure to the never ending advertisements that the world pumps at its targets.  Let us not be won by such deceptive practices.  It is very much like building a bar next door to an alcohol rehabilitation hospital.  You can expect few successes if weak people are barraged by strong temptations.  Guard you heart by abstaining or fasting from T, radio, magazines or other temptations.  You will quickly learn to recognize their schemes and given enough exercise, you can even overcome their ploys.

Once you make the decision to be a "stay home wife or mom" you will immediately be tempted to return to work.  The children's behavior will become deplorable.  Your finances will be put to the test.  Your husband may lose his job.  You may find yourself bored with housework and childcare.  Do not give in!  The adversary is attempting to sift you like so much wheat, but we have the power to overcome if we remain faithful and do not faint.  Take time in the word.  Let your husband know about your struggles.  Confession will help you overcome these temptations: 

God has promised that those who are faithful over little shall be made master over much.  Women who struggle to be head, to be known, to be masters of their own destiny are shooting far short of what God has for them.  They are certainly ignorant of the benefits of submission and patience, and short sighted to the glories that are in store for women who know their place in the kingdom and walk in it.  

I think about Dorcas (Tabitha) and get great peace about my stand.  Here is a woman who dies too early in her life.  Her friends mourn her so much that it causes the L-rd himself to do something absolutely wonderful.  He raises her from the dead.  What was she known for?  For evangelizing a million souls?  For building some great monument to womanhood? For writing some Pulitzer prize winning book?  No for making beautiful garments for the people she knew.  There were most certainly many woman who died prematurely that were not revived by the L-rd.  The women he reaches out to is one who sews and clothes the people around her.  

I also remember the heathen woman who begs for healing for her demon possessed child.  She is willing to see herself as a dog in order to obtain favor from Yeshua and receives deliverance and healing for her daughter.  Most women today would have been so offended at his words, but this woman realizes that he is right; she is a dog lapping at the feet of the children of God .  According to the covenant of the Jews she was outside and had no right to the bread (healing & deliverance) of the children of God.  So she realizes that without a covenant she can not get the healing her child needs.  She touches the heart of Yeshua and he speaks the word of deliverance.  Her every thought was to obtain healing for her child.  Today the average woman might consider putting her child in an institution so that she can continue her career.  Worse yet, if the doctors had done a sonogram and had discovered some malady prior to birth, she might have simply aborted the child. This Syro-Phoenician woman had her priorities in order.  Her child needed healing and she went where she needed to go to obtain it.  She sacrificed self to see to the healing of her baby.

Today I am able to do many remarkable things that I resisted doing when I was younger.  My daughter was home-schooled for most of her education and she is following in my footsteps.  My husband is definitely known in the gates and our marriage is much more happy and durable than in the early days.  I would be lying to say that I didn't fall into the trap a few times.  I put my daughter in private school because I was afraid to homeschool.  I went to work a couple of times to keep from being bored.  Each time I would fall into the trap my home life would suffer.  I hated cooking and cleaning because I was so tired.  I argued with my husband because eating out was so expensive.  I spent more than I made and I was mad at the world most of the time.  In submitting to my bosses, I was outside God's order and therefore was miserable.  Their requests got wilder and wilder.  Eventually I realized that I should be at home and quit.  Today I'm still offered jobs outside my home, but the temptation just isn't there any more.  I know the blessings of running my home, of being queen of the castle and no amount of money would take me outside these walls.  I'm not bored.  I am able to do a multitude of things (with my husband's blessings) and I love my life and know I am well pleasing to God and my husband.  I don't know too many women who work outside the home that can honestly say that.

For women with unbelieving husbands:  You have to live under a different set of rules, but G_d can bless you nonetheless.  Obedience to your husband until he believes is your first priority. He may require you to work outside the home, or may demand you stay home.  Whatever it is, remember to go to the Father with your problem and issues.  If you live with a violent man, you have some hard choices.  Life is the first order and you can't believe for a husband if you are dead.  If your husband acts out his anger by striking you, you may need to seek shelter until his anger passes.  There are shelters all over the nation for women who are beaten.  It is no shame to visit these shelters. Your main concern may be that some shelters may require you prosecute your husband or even divorce him.  You will have to decide what God wants you to do.  Your pastor can help you make these really tough decisions.  If you don't have a pastor, you will definitely want to communicate with God and get some Godly counsel from believers in your neighborhood.  Being beaten isn't normal.  Being neglected isn't normal.  Having your children beaten or sexually abused isn't normal.  These are bad things, and you should seek help.  You are not a bad person if your husband beats you.  You are not a bad person if your husband neglects you.  You are not a bad person if your husband abuses you or or children.  He needs help and he needs the love of God.  

I have friends who stood for their husbands for decades and finally they came to the Father.  I also have friends who have stood for decades and their husbands are as ugly as the beginning of their marriage and some have grown worse.  You will have to seriously seek the Father for the really hard answers.  Don't let your husband convince you that you are the problem.  Just get help!  You are beloved of God and He doesn't want you to live under such oppression.